Third Decade

Observation #28: Don't Call Me Irwin

There are thousands and thousands of men my age who's wives are pregnant. 

And as these men ponder to themselves
I know, I just know, that they have given more than passing thought to convincing their wife to go along with one of two names.  The first one is Fletcher. 
As a husband, you can argue to your wife that it evokes great historical mutineers (Fletcher Christian), academics (John Fletcher), musicians (Fletcher Henderson) and Scotsmen (Andrew Fletcher).  On second thought, the Scotsmen argument probably wouldn't help, but to punctuate your case, you could emphasize that it is nonetheless a unique name that is widely liked by people:

Should accommodate his future travels well:

And would not provide a great entree by some future bully into pummeling your darling boy into the playground schoolyard:

And though other unfortunate incidents are possibilities, really, when you think about it, certain things can happen to people of any name.

Behind all of these arguments, of course, lies the one and only reason that the husband has for wanting a son named Fletcher.  That is, so he can call him Fletch.

How great it would be to introduce your 4 year old soccer player on Saturday mornings to the other soccer dads by saying: "Oh, here he comes.  Roger this is my son.  Fletch."

The comments and movie lines that would elicit are endless.  As Roger introduces his Jake, Logan, Ryan, or Tyler to you, you will be able to read his thoughts has he passes a glance at his wife.  Those thoughts will be something like, "why did I go along with her on LOGAN!".

He might also resent you that Fletch is your son.  He may say something like, "huh...so you didn't go with Gummy then".  You'll only offer a slight smile, bid goodbye, and you and Fletch will head out.  No doubt in pursuit of another good story. Or a Lakers game.

Oh, and the other name? 

Ferris, of course.

Observation #26: Show Me the Money

Women often get accused of being money-grubbers.  Guys say they're attracted to the benjamins, and to what they can acquire with a big bank account.  From what I've seen, that is true for some.  Some women I've met and known are attracted to flashy cars, fancy watches, and big houses.  They're stimulated by the social position that wealth might bring them.  They fall much farther on the money side of the love-or-money equation than they do the love side. 

On the surface this argument seems to have merit.  From experience, I've learned there's often more beneath that surface.

Many women who appear to be attracted to money are actually attracted to security.  For them, it's less about the size of the number, but it's more about what the number represents.  It means if they get sick, they'll be able to afford good healthcare.  It means if they're in need legal help, they'll have access to quality consultation and representation.  It means they're current or future children will be afforded a good education.

Women like to feel safe.  This is a big reason why policemen, firemen, and soldiers usually have little difficulty in finding a bride.  Money and wealth represent safety and protection.  I can't fault a women for wanting to feel safe and protected. 

So it's more than just money.  Sometimes it's about love and security. 

Observation #24: Chopped Locks

Actually, this observation isn't a new one.  It was a twentysomething discovery that several recent events have reminded me of, so I thought I should include it here.

Many women in college and their early twenties wear their hair on the longer side.  The style fits their age bracket, is attractive to men, and helps keeps them competitive in the steely rivalries that are often part of femaninhood.  But then an engagement ring gets slipped on a young woman's finger and she marches down the aisle and into a partnership that only death can put an end to.  After the honeymoon is over and all the gifts have been opened, the settling down begins.

That starts the transformation from pigtailed former sorority girl to adult china-buying wife.  Part of that transformation is the dispatching of inches from her hairstyle.  Now she is married, she has little motivation to attract other men.  The man she's with is legally bound to her so she's less motivated to attract him than when she had only known him for two weeks.  Now she is married, she's started to attend functions and events with other married couples - a far different social dynamic than the bar scene.  Now she is marred, she's developed her skills in managing the household, making schedules, and debating with her under-manned husband.

So off go long tresses, and the new short "off-the-market" hairstyle takes the place.  Even before looking at the left hands of each member of the group of girls in the restaurant having a nice lunch, one could place a good bet on which of the members are married just by examining hairstyles.  That one in the seat 4 with the Farrah Fawcett redux?  Not married.  The rest with nary a strand touching shoulders?  Taken, taken, taken, and taken.

Not that no single girls wear short hair.  In fact, single girls with short hair are often very attractive because of the inner confidence that they usually have that allows them to be comfortable with less on top.  But what happens then they get married, do they shave it all off or grow it out?